Dave Crashed Into the Cuckoo’s Nest, Part III
A Week Fighting to Get Out of the Mad House: An Epic Poem in 7 Installments
[Typed the mornings of September 20-21, 2022 from notes written in crayon the previous week while on an involuntary hold at the psych ward at Pacific Grove Hospital in Riverside, California after a ketamine infusion therapy to treat the PTSD went bad, leaving the Poet more suicidal and self-hating than before it began, prompting the doctor to insist on a “5150” 72-hour hold.]
Click here for Parts I and II:
Thursday Sept. 15 – 6:30 AM In this smaller TV room and they just figured out how to turn it on. Woman patient asked if news was OK for an hour and I agreed. On KTLA. A guy just told me that amphetamines made him bipolar but sobriety is now taking over. 7:04 The guy with the amphetamine problem is named Charlie. He is perhaps 5-10 years younger than me and talks a lot very fast, jumping to random topics. Nice and friendly though. NCIS on the TV now, the woman changed her mind. Please Lord God, let me out of here. I need to see Sally. [Due to Covid concerns, no visitors were allowed at the facility.]
Time Unknown, 8-9:00 AM probably
The psychiatrist’s assistant talked with me and I gave him Dr. Harvey’s number.
Made me hopeful I will get out today.
Then Charlie the bipolar addict came and talked to me.
I recommended “The Last Temptation of Christ” to him.
When I mentioned “Requiem for a Dream” he said he loved it and used to jack off to the infamous ending.
He said he is 28 and studied economics at Dartmouth.
9:45 AM Sitting alone in the room where we ate breakfast. The nurse who gave me this coloring page came in to check on me. She colored one of the characters red. Maybe the best, kindest nurse I’ve met so far here.
11:40 AM Just had second meeting with psychiatrist and he suggested 100mg Thorazine twice a day. I agreed. I expressed the need to get out today and he seemed sympathetic. Also had a group therapy session on emotional management. This is kindergarten for adults. ****** PACIFIC GROVE HOSPITAL AFFIRMATION WORKSHEET Affirmation worksheets are assigned if and when there is a victory in treatment. 1. What victory occurred that led to this affirmation worksheet? I have a fiancée who loves me. ****** Time Unknown Dr. Gandotra is keeping me beyond the 72 hours.
Afternoon – 3:30ish PM God has placed me here for a purpose. To show love and wisdom to the lost souls here.
3:56 PM In TV room. “Rough Night” on now, MTV2. 6:30 PM Thursday In the TV room as Lester Holt reads the news. Sally brought books and clothes for me. Two new guys now in the unit and watching TV here. Going to read Mike Lind’s Up from Conservatism first.
6:41 PM Charlie came in for a moment to watch the news. He has a black crayon in his mouth to pretend to smoke a cigarette. 8:47 PM Revelation: Always Assume All Agents of the State are Corrupt. Psychiatrists, Doctors, Teachers, Police – Assume They Will Lie. Good News: Jasmine did not destroy the RV while Sally came to give me books and clothes. Insight from Bad Call with Mother: Endless Doubt and Lack of Confidence in Oneself are the Concubines of Oppression. Note Included in Bag Dropped Off by Fiancée: 9.15.22 Hey, gorgeous!! You got this. I’m SO impressed by and proud of you. I’ll see you on the other side. I love you, Chief – SSS P.S. Jazzy says hello! ***** State of California – Health and Human Services Agency Department of Health Care Services Notice of Certification Confidential Patient Information See Welfare and Institutions Code Section 5328 and Penal Code 11142 HIPAA Privacy Rule 45 C.F.R. 164508 The authorized agency providing evaluation services in the County of Riverside has evaluated the condition of: Name______David_Swindle____________________________________________________ Address________________________ Twentynine Palms, CA____________________________ Marital Status ___________D_______________ Date of Birth ____1/29/84_______ Sex_M___ We, the undersigned, allege that the abovenamed person is, as a result of a mental disorder or impairment by chronic alcoholism (Mark all that apply): X – A danger to himself or herself X – Gravely disabled as defined in paragraph (1) of sub-division (h) or subdivision (l) of Section 5008 of the Welfare and Institutions Code *Strike out all in applicable classifications The specific facts which form the basis for our opinion tha the above-named person meets one or more of the classifications indicated above are as follows: David continues to endorse thoughts about stabbing self in the chest and heavy auditory / visual hallucinations. Unable to care for self at a basic level. The above-named person has been informed of this evaluation, and has been advised of the need for, but has not been able or willing to accept treatment on a voluntary basis, or to accept referral to, the following services: Continued inpatient hospitalization Print outs of cartoon characters for adults to color: SpongeBob SquarePants says, “When nothing is true then all evils and cruelties are permitted.” His pal Patrick the Starfish says, “We are the imagination of ourselves.”
After 10PM “Overclass” – Credentialed Elite Americans with advanced degrees – MBAs, JDs, PhDs, MDs, less than 10% of US population - Page 34, Up from Conservatism, M. Lind Page 31 – Trump prophecy by Lind Overclass: Americans with advanced degrees who can afford maids or nannies.
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The next day’s Installment will be published tomorrow. Listen to Dave talk about his experience here in Wednesday’s podcast: