A Puppy Describes Her First Visit to Joshua Tree National Park

Canine correspondent Jasmine Louise Zipporah Swindle offers her third blog post.

Since I got the day off Tuesday for Pesach,

Sally Shideler

and I decide to make a trip to Joshua Tree National Park, which is only a 15-minute drive from us. It was our dog Jasmine’s first time at the park and now she’s eager to offer her report of the experience.

Believe it or not, Sally as a high-level witch possesses the ability to communicate telepathically with Jasmine. She’s not able to do this with all dogs. We suspect it has something to do with the possibility that Jasmine has been our dog — or even our child —in previous lifetimes as she has claimed on multiple occasions.

Anyway, probably best to just regard this as amusing fiction to accompany some cute dog pictures. Yes, just tell yourself that. Talking telepathically with a dog is absurd and writing a blog post with such a premise even more so.

“OK, where do you want to begin?” I asked as Sally and Jasmine lounged on the couch and I put a relaxing “ambience” video on in the background.

This one, in fact:

“Well? Maybe we should have her just tell the story in her own words?” I asked.

“You ready? You tell me what you want to say. We’re going to tell the story of your trip to Joshua Tree yesterday,” Sally says before kissing Jasmine on the head.

Sally dictating now:

“Daddy had vacation from work. So we went to visit the Joshua Tree National Park. I had never been there before. But it’s right by my house. It was a cool time.”

“OK, what else?” Sally asks.

“We got in the car and we drove a little drive and then we were in line with a bunch of other cars. Mommy showed a card and we got to go in while other people were still waiting. We were mostly driving because Mommy has a disability but pretty soon we stopped the car and Daddy took me to explore. There were these huge rocks and Daddy took me on my leash to walk through Joshua Trees and cactus and see them closer. I smelled a bunch of snakes but they were hiding and there were mice too. But they didn’t play with me. I think they have visitors all the time so maybe they were tired. And then I came back to the car and Dad made me drink some water. And then we drove a little more.”

Jasmine continues:

“We got out again and saw really really big rocks. Like probably bigger than Wal-Mart. And a whole bunch of people were taking pictures. Coyotes were there earlier that day. I could smell them. But they left which is too bad because I wanted to play with some other puppies. None of the other people brought a dog and that’s dumb because it’s really fun for a dog. I don’t know who put all those huge rocks there. Mommy said sometimes the ground can move and make mountains or volcanos. I asked if we could go see a volcano and Mommy said probably not.”

“Then we got in the car again and Mom took pictures while we were driving. It looks really cool in there. It’s kind of like where my house is but kind of different with the huge rocks. Mommy said that one time the whole park was one guy’s ranch. I don’t know why he had such a big ranch. But it’s good that he made it be a park. I wanted to run around without my leash but it was against the rules of the park and I saw some other dog’s poop but I didn’t see them.”

Sally responds, “I don’t know if we need to put that.”

Jasmine then said, “A bunch of people were driving big monsters. And mommy says those are called RVs and I don’t like them. Mommy said it was the same as the RV that we lived in but our RV didn’t go anywhere. It just stayed put.”

Sally said, “Oh, interesting…”

Jasmine said, “I don’t know if people are enjoying the park if they are just staying in their big RV that is like a house. Daddy said we can go back and bring a blanket and sit on the sand and enjoy looking at the rocks and smelling the animals. And maybe we will even sleep there. I hope so. And I hope we see more animals next time. Mommy said I would see at least one animal and I only saw one animal so I guess she was right but I thought it would be more animals. The animal that I saw was a lizard actually two lizards. I don’t know if they were friends or married.”

Sally giggles.

“And they were so black that it was like they were blue and they are not like the lizards I play with at home. Also they were really big. I think you should take your puppy to Joshua Tree National Park but be sure to bring them water and a snack because they will be excited and hungry and thirsty from all the cool things and how hot it is. It’s weird to leave your puppy’s poop in the middle of the park even though it was kind of like I got to say ‘hi’ to another dog when I saw it.”

Sally admonishes, “Jasmine…" Then asks, “What else should people do if they’re going to bring a dog to Joshua Tree?”

“Check their feet for spiky seeds. I didn’t get any in my hands or feet this time but I got one in my foot at home and your puppy will not enjoy hiking if they have a spiky seed stuck in their foot.”

Sally says, “Goat heads. They’re called goat heads. Anything else?”

Jasmine then said, “Daddy and I went up on a mountain and we took pictures and we looked down and we could see all the way to Palm Springs. And Mama said that is the Coach Valley.”

Sally corrects, “That’s Coachella Valley.”

Jasmine says, “It was beautiful and I am happy I live in such a beautiful place. You and your dog should come visit me here and we can go to the park.”

Sally says, “Oh, for pity’s sake” at Jasmine’s next answer:

“Also tell your dog they do not have chicken nuggets at the park. They will have to wait until after the park.”

Sally asks, “Anything else little muffin?”

Jasmine concludes, “No, I think I’m done now.”

Sally hugs her and says, “Good job, you’re such a good writer.”

Jasmine then allegedly responded, “I know.”

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See Jasmine’s previous hard-hitting reports here: